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23 August 2013 @ 01:23 am
[sticky post] MOVED  

I can be found at inthoughtandmemory.wordpress.com if you care to read my posts/stalk me/want to flame me for being a terrible person. Toodles~!
29 March 2020 @ 10:22 pm

image from hikkie_heaven

r x e l y n

love is the law, love under willCollapse )

25 May 2013 @ 01:27 pm
I chipped the ear of my Anubis statue while cleaning my altar. I think I wanted to sit down and have a good cry because I'd have given everything to rewind the last few minutes. I think a little part of me was grateful that it was only the ear, I mean, it could have been worse; the whole statue might have just broken into pieces and there wouldn't be anything that I could have done. But hey, I ran for the super glue and managed to stick the part back, even though you can see that the damage has been done, which is why I didn't bother to cry over the spilled milk, though I did holler at my mother for not being helpful - as in, she couldn't even remember if we had super glue, wtf. It hurts, I can't really explain it, but it feels as though I failed, and there's also the guilt... faith is a weird thing, eh.
feeling: guiltyguilty
listening to: Michael Giacchino - Star Trek Into Darkness OST
02 March 2013 @ 01:59 am
that (a) no one cares about hockey, (b) this is actually kinda old, (c) people probably don't read this journal, buuuut I kinda want to share it anyway? Cos I'm such a giver, y'know.
you should watch this if you want to
(a) have a really good laugh and maybe choke on your water
(b) see hockey guys being dorky and totally unself-conscious about it
(c) just be scarred for life by really terrible dance moves and fashion sense
(d) know that no matter what, you will dance better than that guy in the tacky shirt
(e) join me in my downward spiral of insanity.
feeling: amusedamused
21 February 2013 @ 12:40 am
*facepalm* so. I have been doing a lot of these 'hello, internet' posts, eh. (Maybe I'm getting sick of LJ. After all, I don't really hang around much in the communities, now that I've pinboard and ao3 for recs, hell, no one's using delicious either.) But I don't know, maybe I feel bad about not entertaining the poor lost souls that stumble upon this half dying journal so I continue to post sporadically, to show that I'm still alive and kicking, or something. (But I'm kinda thinking of migrating over to Wordpress, like that would prod me into doing more things.)

Despite not having a huge work load/deadlines at the moment, I seem to be functioning under this pile of undone shit. And recess week is already creeping up on me, making me wish I could be stuck in a Groundhog Day kind of loop, only that it's groundhog week so I have mooooore time to catch up on everything, which means I'll end up spending the entire loop gaming/watching crap/reading rubbish and the last day on actual work. Seriously, I have no work ethic to speak of, which means I will die when I finally leave this cozy cocoon called complacency and start being responsible for greater things than my grades. INTIMIDATING D:

1. LUNA SEA. I love them to pieces, especially SUGIZO, considering he's now also in X Japan :D Yeah, so I saw them live a couple of weeks back, and it was epic. I love the fact that they are the first J-rock band I have seen live. (which would have been Alice Nine if I went for Sundown Festival last year, but I'm kinda glad I didn't, because this was way more awesome.) I really wanted their merch, especially a tour tee, since it was way cheaper to buy then than at their online shop, but apparently I went too late and all the shirts were sold out already. Damnit, if only I didn't go for tuition/went home to change and primp for it. But I ended up buying their limited edition (?) earphones (but why are they in-ears??!) and their cd collection of their greatest hits. Brilliant experience, but no pictures because there's something wrong with my SD card, and I'm terrible at photography anyway. Verbal diarrhea is more of my forte, so let me just emote how fantastic they were, and how wrong it is for me to be swooning over people who are twice my age, haha. But seriously, man, there was like fanservice-y moments between Ryuichi and SUGIZO. Like omfg. Even though I'm pretty sure SGZ is married and has a kid already. BUT my heart fluttered at the bromance-ness, and I love love love their interactions with each other, as well as with the audience, despite speaking mostly in Japanese, but hey, I could understand bits and pieces, thanks to... anime. I was kinda sad that I didn't spring for a pricier ticket, just so I could have gotten closer and you know, grope them a little *blush* I mean, get to catch the freebies that they tossed at the audience at the end of the show. And yeah, I've got to say that I <3 Inoran's hair. So cute~~~ Ah, they're all cute, haha. And they seem like nice people, idk. Or at least, I feel that way about SGZ.

2. Gintama, which is really long, and actually has been running for some time, and I've picked it up and dropped it twice already. But yeah, I'm watching this properly now, and I managed to marathon my way through the entire of S1 and part of S2. My issue with Gintama was mainly the fact that there isn't any proper storyline, not like say, Naruto or One Piece, and each arcs, if any, is really short. But it's hilarious, and I love how post-modernist the anime is. (can anime be post-modern? lol) I mean, they sprinkle pop culture references liberally, constantly break the fourth wall by acknowledging that they're an anime and there are ratings to pander to and also subverting all the tropes. Also, Gintoki, really awesome anti-hero who couldn't really give a flying fuck, and don't you dare screw with his desserts/Shounen Jump (even though he really shouldn't be reading it at his age XD). Also, Kagura, who breaks all the rules as a leading heroine of an anime - considering that she's constantly unglam - speaking crudely, like about people's bodily functions etc/picking her nose/eating gluttonously/puking onscreen etc. Ah, she's so... unapologetically badass and straight to the point. All of the secondary characters are wonderful too, completely mad and the stories are always so wtf, except when they're not, and even then the mangaka manages to throw out some spiel about friendship/loyalty/honour/samurai spirit etc, like any good Shounen title ought to do.

3. NHL. This is really weird, for me, because firstly it's a sport. *cue jaw-dropping gif or something* Yup, I'm actually interested in a sport outside of anime. (Did I ever mention that I learned the rules of tennis & american football from anime? Yeah, I got into Prince of Tennis & Eyeshield 21 some time back and of course, though the rules are real, the moves and the gameplay are completely unreal and impossible.) So yeah, and you have to consider that ice hockey is not something we play here, because idk why actually, lack of proper rinks/there's no ice skating culture here because there is no ice to skate on??! Hahaha. But yes, I have fallen into the trap of hockey rps, despite my dislike for rps since I think it's kinda iffy. (Imagine them googling their own names and finding out the ridiculous things that people write about them. It's like slander, only worse.) So, I first got into Kaner/Toews, which led me into the Chicago Blackhawks team, and I watched them live today for the first time against the Vancouver Canucks and they freaking won!!! I was kinda afraid that I might jinxed it, since I wanted them to win, and omg, they won and I was in EN3880A seminar, completely not paying attention, and refreshing the Blackhawks twitter like a deranged fangirl, and yeah, I understood the game, kind of. And omg, Patrick Sharp scoring the first Blackhawks goal. Man, Sharpy is like the only good looking one on the team, I think. I mean, the others... don't look too horrible, but I don't think they'd be winning any beauty pageant anytime soon, but then again, they're awesome at hockey and are earning big bucks and probably getting all the ladies (& the laddies?? haha), so what do I know, eh. But yeah, Kaner & Shawsy scoring during the shootout and ending the tie :D Tomorrow (or rather 8:30 am later) will be Flyers vs Pittsburgh Penguins. Which I am really excited for because Crosby is so hyped, along with Geno. And the following day, there's Washington Capitals, which means Ovie. Like, I'm seriously excited, because Russians. Yeah, I have this soft spot for Russia despite being so far away from it, and living in a completely different society/country, but Russia and its people, I always get this feeling for solidness, that they have amazing endurance and idk, vodka tolerance? But they seem really stoic to outsiders, affectionate with family&friends, what with all the numerous pet names there are out there.

Yeah, long chunk, tl;dr: I am good at being a fangirl. And my hands are actually kinda tired from all the typing because I haven't been posting long shit for ages. Also, mood swing much? I started out angsting about school and shit, but then fandom is always awesome, especially after watching depressing movies, like today's screening of Peppermint Candy.
feeling: pleasedpleased
31 January 2013 @ 01:20 pm

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.”
- Haruki Murakami

Long day ahead, feelings of zomgdnwkmn and inertia and doom and gloom and emo wilting flowers and colourless unicorns trudging on black and white rainbows. 

Wallowing in self delusions and unsolved issues of long past, which is weird, considering that the moon is in virgo now, where it's all efficiency and doing work and order and neatness, and not kataka sooky-sook. Or wait, is it in libra already? Ah, time zones and all that, I'm too lazy to check. I just want to sit in this air-conned room, quiet as a grave, listening to old X Japan songs and just die a little inside, while browsing through the mountains of crap in my own private library. 
feeling: lethargiclethargic
listening to: X Japan - Silent Jealousy
30 January 2013 @ 09:11 pm
I never turned anyone into a pig
Some people are pigs; I make the
Look like pigs

I'm sick of your worl
That lets the outside disguise the inside. Your men weren't bad men
Undisciplined lif
Did that to them. As pigs

Under the care o
Me and my ladies, the
Sweetened right up

Then I reversed the spell, showing you my goodnes
As well as my power. I sa

We could be happy here
As men and women ar
When their needs are simple. In the same breath

I foresaw your departure
Your men with my help bravin
The crying and pounding sea. You thin

A few tears upset me? My friend
Every sorceress i
A pragmatist at heart; nobody sees essence who can'
Face limitation. If I wanted only to hold yo

I could hold you prisoner.

I'm quite the fan of Louise Gluck, and I thought this was pretty fitting, considering I'm doing Homer's Odyssey at the moment for one of my literature classes, and Imbolc is right around the corner. Aaaand I have yet to prepare for it, gosh. Time, you need to take a chill pill
feeling: exhaustedexhausted
21 January 2013 @ 09:11 pm
... where on earth have I been, really. 

These days it's much easier to narrate things in my head and let the words slowly drift away into obscurity and fade from my consciousness than to record them down furiously for myself to nitpick and edit over and over again. (Not that I really do any editing.) There's also that lack of evidence when it comes to midnight musings and other terrible thoughts, that's another plus point. Also, I like to think that I'm more eloquent in my brain than in writing. 

Anyway, 2013 - I'm not going to be all positive and fake and irresponsible by saying that it'll be a fresh start, it'd be more awesome than the last, I'd be fulfilling resolutions left and right, or that things will change. (Because I'd be lying to myself, and I've too many lies out there to add more to the pile.) Things don't change that easily, they don't change because you want them to, chances don't fall out from the skies, and well, life is easier when things don't change, boring, but easier.

Also, my problem is that I don't know what I want. I'm graduating at the end of this semester, but I'm not sure what the hell I'll be doing after that. Staying in academialand is easy, there's no change, see? You start by entering the system when you're a little kid, and stay for the entire ride until your 20s; you always know your path - beat the boss of that particular level, move on to the next boss fight, on and on until you find yourself unceremoniously expelled from the system and told to go make it in the real world. And the real world likes its cut throat, dog-eat-dog reputation a little too much to pretend to be nice and accommodating. But you know what, I'm tired of staying in academialand, where I'm expected to read book after book and churn out words about these books. It's not that I dislike reading books, considering I'm majoring in literature, but after a while, I just get a little... sick of it all. I'm reading all these things, and writing all these things, but what is the point? 

Oh dear, this turned slightly maudlin, I think. 
feeling: listlesslistless
listening to: Cry playing Mad Father
18 January 2013 @ 04:15 pm
I hate the number 46. so fucking much. 
let's just put it like that and forget it until the next self-loathing session with my vilest memories
feeling: depresseddepressed
14 January 2013 @ 11:23 pm
feeling: tiredtired
listening to: Nightwish - Sleeping Sun