image from hikkie_heaven  
 

I cross the sand
without your hand
I go back to
where you and I began
and I was yours
and you were mine
things seem so soon to say goodbye
I hope you're well as I am fine
I keep to myself where I go where I lie

I woke up in a cave
No air no light no shade
when did things turn this way?
I miss you on certain days

The Dodos x The Season

a friend of mine was being upset on twitter, familial pressures over the expected achievements in life and how not meeting these targets meant that one was a failure.

YOU KNOW WHAT?



it's ridiculous trying to calculate someone's self worth through their academic results, financial circumstances, popularity levels, whatever. 
if we all agree that art is subjective, then why can't we apply the same concept to our lives? 
people in my family expect things from me, but I know I'm not going to deliver them.
(good grades, good career, the whole white picket fence and 2.5 kids? eff them, I'm going to the moon.)

I have to thank fatmah for introducing this brilliant accordionist to me.
kimmo pohjonen is finnish, and he rocks a dark evocative sound.

seriously, while sitting in the darkened theatre and hearing him play, I felt as though I was swept away, to the steampunk era of flying blimps and engine gears moving like a crazy steam train, to the deep tribal primal part of the self, through his use of vocal sounds, as if he was calling to nature. 


making people sign my moleskine is my new thing now. haha.

so yeah, I skipped my critical reading class with dr ang to check out the kabuki workshop brought to us by the japanese studies department.
(oh yes, where does my priorities lie, eh?)

I missed the first 15 minutes because I was late, fighting traffic, but I doubt I missed anything important, beyond the whole setting up and introductions and stuff. 

there was a demonstration, and a basic explanation of the moves used by the kabuki actor.
then we were shown a video clip of a play where we saw the importance of body language in conveying the actors' roles - from the very basic ways of how the actor walks from the runway to the stage.
by following the katas, apparently anyone could take up a role in the play. 


then there was a short section on the makeup of kabuki


while there was a translator present to translate everything, I'm glad to say that I managed to understand at least 45% of whatever the actors were saying. :D not bad for someone who has no formal training in the language and my only source is through their entertainment. 

psych & lit class was meh, but then again, what else was new, huh.

met up with shaun with sofia at woodlands for dinner, which was at pizza hut, which spawned a 5 hour long conversation where nothing was spared - school gossip, frat boy tendencies, weird pranks, ponies. 
I <3 my friends so much sometimes. haha.

and now, I have probably got to start catching up on all my unfinished work. *sigh*

the limits of friendship, where is the line drawn?
just how far is too far, and when is it appropriate?
sure, sure, straightforward reply: wherever you feel like it should be, you moron.
but remember, I am first and foremost asian in my attitude towards people.
or should I say, chinese, since I wouldn't know how other asian cultures react to boundaries between people.
for all I know, filipinos are friendly, warm and inviting, or thais are honest and straightforward.
idk, man, idk. but as a chinese, who likes to veer towards the japanese kind of reservedness and politeness in regards to people and distance, I like having a nice line drawn.

I like the idea of knowing where you stand with someone, whether or not you are on first or last name basis, whether or not the person reciprocates that feeling, or are you just deluding yourself when you refer to the person with a 'chan' suffix and the person refers to you with a 'san', but of course, there are other reasons, but still, such markers would be a good estimate of how someone feels towards you. Though we do have to make room of things like hypocrisy, and deceitful emotions, etc.

also, I think it's good to know just what you can discuss with someone, is everything a-go? Are politics/family/puppy kicking/etc a red zone? You know, things like these would be useful to know, so you don't accidentally fuck things up and offend someone and find yourself backtracking ungracefully and making the other party think that you're a jerk or something.

And the other good thing about this would be calling the person out on something. I'm pretty sure that there are things I do that irk my friends, perhaps my careless attitude, or how I have no fashion sense, or that I have terrible table manners, I don't know, people haven't exactly been forthcoming, and I don't exactly fault them because I am just as reticent in pointing out flaws like these, since my general sense of politeness is to not talk about things that are potentially embarrassing to either parties. You know, the whole concept of 'face'/'pride'. But there are moments when I wish I could be more frank with someone, when I can just go 'hey, I don't think you should be doing this, it's making you uncool, and making me want to re-evaluate our friendship and just how buddy buddy we will be in the future.' etc.

But I can't. I just... am not built for confrontations. I am the sneaky passive aggressive person who will leave snarky messages and refer to the issues pointedly and also sarcastically. Wow, I will make such an awesome employee in the future, huh.

Anyway, yeah, the point is, sometimes, I just need to bitch about how right I am, and how wrong you are, okay, and it is not really a personal attack. And I don't know just what I'm talking about anymore, since I think I have lost the point paragraphs ago.

went to catch architecture in helsinki with fatmah at the mosaic club.
it was frigging awesome and I lament slightly about not staying updated about the band.
I heard them back in 2005? when the song 'it's 5!' came out, haha, I loved that song, it was so charming and random and happy.
I labelled them as my happy music, up there with antic cafe :D 
and then blithely forgot about them when I moved on to whatever that caught my attention next. 

and you know what, when I first listened to their latest album, Moment Bends, back in 2011 when it first came out, I hated it. I thought the songs were so bad, and I wondered if it was the same sound that won me over during their In Case We Die album. and I promptly didn't give them a chance until I heard that they were coming down and I thought, why not? since tickets weren't too pricey. (cough lar'c cough)

I went there not expecting too much, and I was blown away.
they were wonderful - quirky dance moves, super energetic and fun, and very very nice people. 
and I learned to love Moment Bends. seriously, listening to them live, made me a convert. haha. 


they signed my freaking moleskine! :D 
and omg, it's so cool, and mustafa is misspelled. XD *crazy happy dance ala misha collins*

<3

the niece turns 1 month old today! (actually a day in advance)

and the typical family thing would be to throw her the requisite one month baby shower.

where everyone comes down to coo over the baby.
(not exactly true, since the kid stayed in the master bedroom, snoozing away in air-conned bliss while everyone else was outside mingling and making a shitload of noises and invading my peace and my bedroom.

(for everyone who knows/doesn't know me, I detest when people sit on my bed. especially when they're not... clean. and I mean this in the most polite way, like they're wearing street clothes, they have yet to bath, etc.)

D:

not really a good day also, because my brother stepped into the house and the first thing he said to me was 'what happened to your face'. as if he never suffered from the pimple army before.

D:

and the lovely neighbour folks had to point that out too.
really? you're sitting in my house and insulting me.
wow.
manners, much? 

went to watch this means war, even though I read the plot synopsis and thought it would suck horribly, I still enjoyed myself greatly. 
do you even have to ask why?
I had two extreme dashingly hot eye candy bickering at each other, being bros, pranking each other and saving each other's arses.
(I kinda wish they'd just drop Ms Witherspoon and just get together - dude, I'm just saying that they had good chemistry. *cough*)

but seriously, captain kirk, chris effing pine. and those blue blue eyes of his. 
like a freaking siberian husky. *swoons*
just watching him being charming, being bashful and badass was worth the price of the movie ticket. haha.

and then we have tom hardy joining the party, and it's double the fun. 
because hello, what a lovely lovely accent and may I have it for myself? :D

(and yes, I need to have a chris pine appreciation day and spam his pictures.)